the leaven of the pharisees

I recently encountered a solid reality check by the name of Katie Davis. At age the age of 18, she decided to spend a few months working as a kindergarten teacher in Uganda before starting university back in the States. Five years later, she is still living in Uganda and runs a non-profit organization that she founded. Oh! And also, Katie is the primary care giver to 14 Ugandan girls whom she plans to adopt. No big deal. (If you want to learn more about Katie and her work in Uganda, please check out her website at http://amazima.org/) People often say to Katie, “How lucky you are to have already found God’s calling in your life!” And Katie’s prophetic response is, “I didn’t find anything. I just read the Bible.” According to Katie (and to Jesus), being a Christian is about loving God with everything in you and about loving others as yourself. So, she seeks to do that every day. And doing that for a few years has brought her to the place she is at now.

We so often make living the Christian life into some incredibly complicated thing! As if God doesn’t want us to find His will! Really, deep down, I think we believers know what being a Christian is about. His Word makes it painfully clear! But we are so very afraid to actually stand on our faith, terrified to live a life that demands we truly believe what we say.

In Luke 12, Jesus says, “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.” Truly, if I am to be honest with myself, hypocrisy has plagued my life. And I have acted more like a Pharisee than a follower of Christ. I have been self-consumed, materialistic, self-righteous, and prideful. I claim to follow Jesus. And yet, Jesus says things like “deny yourself” and “sell your possessions and give them to the poor” and “everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required”. Jesus makes it clear what He expects from His followers: the attitude of “not I, but Christ” that Paul describes in Galatians 2. At the young age of 23, I think Katie Davis realizes this more than most people. And not merely because she has given her life to care for Ugandan children. But because she understands that the Christian life is about loving God in obedience and risking everything for His sake. I pray that I learn more and more about this one thing: to live is Christ.

8mi mart (aka...the 8th of march)

8mi mart. sounds a lot like "awesomey mart". and that's actually what i thought it was for a while...(it's really pronounced "osumi mart", but that's beside the point)... what's important here to know is that 8mi mart really is awesome. in my life thus far, i have lived every 8th of march in unknown mediocrity. mistakenly, i have assumed that it was nothing particularly special. no occasion separated it from surrounding days in my calendar. and in my ignorance, i have missed the party. literally. living in macedonia has taught me many things...and one of them is how to truly celebrate.

so the 8th of march is International Woman's Day. it started as a day to hold demonstrations for women's rights and fight for equal treatment... but now in many places it's mostly a day to celebrate being a woman, with flowers and sweets and lots of other girlie things. it's also a really good excuse to party with your friends. so we had a zabava (party) at our coffee shop!



delicious and womanly food

lovely flowers with scripture attached

we gave the flowers out to the women who came, along with this verse:

"Ти благодарам што сум создаден толку чудесно, што се Твоите дела прекрасни. Мојата душа тоа добро го знае." - Псалм 139:14

also known as:

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." - Psalm 139:14

then after our party...we went to a restaurant and partied some more!

we ate...

and ate...

and then...we danced!


and then we ate some more...

and just had such a lovely time!

so...in short: osumi mart is awesome. i'm totally bringing it back to the states. get ready.

for your information

it occurred to me that you might be interested to know 1) where i'm living and 2) what it's like to live there...so...

this is where i am:

see that red dot right above greece? that's macedonia.

ok...look in the southwest of macedonia...almost in albania...on a lake...that's ohrid, my town.

ohrid


they speak macedonian here, so i'm spending most of my time attempting to learn it. also, they use the cyrillic alphabet. so i'm learning that too. pretty horrible at it, but i'm getting better.



my new alphabet


coffee, coffee, coffee...macedonians love coffee. good thing i do too...because i drink it all day long! people here are super hospitable, and i'm offered coffee and snacks everywhere i go.


and the food here is dangerously awesome. this is me eating burek. i LOVE burek! it's like a huge baklava...except with meat or cheese instead of gooey sweetness. yum!...but they have for real baklavas too...don't worry.


also, there's tons of history here...


i'm really getting into it...really.


back home, if you say a building is old, you probably mean it was built over twenty years ago. here, if something is old, it's hundreds of years old...maybe even a thousand or two...



ancient theater, built in 200 b.c...that's right...b.c.



plaoshnik, home of the university founded by st. clement around 900 a.d.



closer look at st. clement's church



church of st. john at kaneo, built around the 13th century

macedonia was part of the ottoman empire for about 500 years, so there are remnants of turkish rule everywhere. i hear the call to prayer often...great reminder!

my neighborhood mosque

oh, also...it is b-e-a-utiful here!

the mountains...



the lake...

i am such a blessed girl! i love where i live, i love what i'm doing...and i wake up every day in thankfulness to God for the life He's given me!

in transit

So leaving is hard. I started applying to this program nearly two years ago. Then I got this job in February. And now, almost in December, I’m finally on my way! So basically, I’ve been saying goodbye to family and friends for months. One of my friends from the organization has said that this process is like pulling off a band-aid really, really slowly. I agree. It’s painful and slow…and painfully slow. But it’s also good. I’ve been forced to evaluate myself and my decision over and over and over. And I always come to the same conclusion: This is God’s will for me.

I have often been reminded of a certain passage of scripture during this very, very long process:

“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Matthew 10:37-39)

Not everyone is called to leave their family and move to a foreign country. But as followers of Christ, we are all called to love Him. More than anything. More than anyone. Our allegiance is to Christ alone, to  His gospel and His kingdom. But this does not mean that we love others less!  On the contrary, we love them so much better. Loving Christ above all enables us to know Him in deeper and deeper parts of who we are. Because He is love in perfection, we ourselves become vessels of greater and greater love. And this love, which is too wondrous to be contained, must be shared. Extravagant love for others is an unavoidable side effect of exalting Christ above all.

Sacrifice in your heart the ones you love, and you will love them better than you could ever have imagined before. Give your life for the sake of the gospel, and you will find a life of abundance that could never have previously been fathomed.

This is definitely not easy! The most dangerous of temptations are the ones with seemingly righteous motives. And how unbelievably tempting is it to love your family more than Christ! But God wants us to love each other in the best possible way…

This means we must love each other by His love…not our own.

the answer to why

How did I get here? Where is this going? Why am I doing this?

These questions enter my mind every so often as I consider my current situation: I’m forsaking everything familiar. I’m leaving my family, my home, my friends, my country, my language... I’m moving to a place I’ve never been, to live among people I’ve never known, and to learn a language I’ve never heard. It seems pretty crazy...probably because it is. What would possess anyone to make such a reckless decision? Well...it’s not because I just love to travel. If this were the deciding factor of my path, I would be irresponsibly throwing my life away for a hobby. And it’s not because I just love Macedonia. I knew almost nothing about the country until two days before I applied for the job.

I’m doing this because I am desperately, irresponsibly, and incurably in love with the Gospel.

...but this wasn’t always the case in my life. I’ve grown up going to church and made a profession of faith in Christ when I was nine. From that point on, I outwardly grew in my spirituality. I read my Bible...because I felt bad when I didn’t. I went to church...because my friends were there. I journaled...because good Christians should. Guilt ruled my life. I knew that I couldn’t be good enough, but I hopelessly and powerlessly kept trying. And I was so afraid. What if I sin and don’t know it? What if I miss out on His will? How will He punish me? What if others find out how truly sinful I am? I knew the God of the Bible demanded perfection, and I knew who I was... guilty, shameful, unworthy. By the time I got to college, I was so tired of trying so hard and worrying so much...that I gave up. I thought, “This religion isn’t worth the guilt. Is Jesus even who He said He is? The only way? The only truth? Surely not. It’s ridiculous, really, to believe in such impossibility, to align myself with such narrow-mindedness. ” So I found other views, other philosophies. People and theories that were broad and wide and gave me room to breathe. And I felt such freedom...for a while. But I realized soon that I wasn’t free. I was falling. The guilt was replaced by uncertainty. What is true? Is there truth? What is real? Is there any meaning in the world, at all? Chaos and confusion reigned in my mind as I considered the possibilities of life without faith. It was worse than the guilt, because I had nothing to stand on. And when trials came in my life, I sunk further into the darkness. My joy was gone; my hope was gone. I didn’t recognize myself anymore. I never thought I’d be the same again...and I wasn’t...

In the darkness of that time, everything I had faith in ultimately failed me. Relationships with family and friends could not fill the emptiness. My impersonal philosophies held no comfort for me. Nothing satisfied my longing. So I began to pray as I never had before in my life. With desperation. With honesty. I prayed the moment I woke that God would help me get out of bed. Then I prayed He would help me make it to work. And to class. And through class… Soon I was praying all day long! And I was experiencing God in a way I never had in the past. Joy in my sorrow. Purpose in my pain. The darkest time in my life became the sweetest. I started reading the Bible again, but this time not out of guilt or obligation…but out of a deep desire to know the God who was sustaining me. I felt I was experiencing the Gospel for the first time. The holiness of God, the sinfulness of my life, the punishment I deserve…these things were abundantly clear to me, and I saw the futility of my “righteous” endeavors. I knew now why I had given up on Jesus before: I had been fighting for something I could never possibly achieve. My strength wasn’t strong enough; my goodness wasn’t good enough. I failed over and over and over. Even if I did the “right thing,” I couldn’t fix my selfish motives. But this Gospel changed everything about the way I approached God! I learned He doesn’t want my works. He knows I can’t live up to His standard, not even close! He came down to earth as Jesus and lived the life I couldn’t. In His undeserved death, He took the righteous judgment that the Father should have poured on humanity. And when I trust in His truth, I get His righteousness and heavenly inheritance! I am clean, holy, and blameless because of His sacrifice. Nothing is required of me…just simply to believe. This is a freedom that never fails! And here’s the paradox…

When you have experienced this tremendous freedom and extravagant love, the only possible response is to submit your life to the Author of such beauty and divine generosity.

What marvelous freedom to be His slave! Every day, every moment is lived by Christ: His love, power, forgiveness, grace, righteousness, hope, wisdom, joy…  His life, death, and resurrection enable me to live as I never thought possible. With victory in trials! And confidence in uncertainty! While some people have a concrete call to international missions and to particular countries or peoples, I definitely don’t! But what I do have is a relationship with Jesus that changes my life every day. And through many small and large steps, He has brought me to this place…to share His love with the people of Macedonia.  I don’t know what my future holds, but He does…and I trust Him immensely. I’m betting my life on it!